Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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