I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
