took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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