You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
