Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
