"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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