No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
