3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
