i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
