i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
