just tell him i said nine months
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
