How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
