Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
