That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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