can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
