very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i barfeds in our rink
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she pinky promised me she was 18
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
