Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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