Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
