Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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