You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Mom said you looked used
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
