shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
