oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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