all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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