I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
