nut hugger
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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