Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
