"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
