It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
