This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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