If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
