I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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