Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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