Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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