K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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