I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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