I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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