He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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