i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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