chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
there is puke in my bra ... again
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