if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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