He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
