fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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