I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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