just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
