He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
