i jhust puked up my retainher.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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