Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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