The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
