Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
