this beer tastes like vomit already
Four minutes until I can fart!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
