There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
