We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
