I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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